The season that wouldn’t start

April 12th, 2012

After a promising start at the Snake Creek TT series, the early season has been derailed by illness, weddings, and all that other real life crap that keeps me from pretending I have an exciting life as a pro bike racer. The spectacular weather we’ve had this spring has made my delayed debut all the more frustrating. I feel like patience is a constant lesson in my life, so I guess I will take another stab at using it.

The upside of illness, while in California on business, an ear infection kept me off the return flight, but on some sweet trails in Pasadena where I hooked up with Bruce “travelin Progold lube man” Dickman. You can leave the South, but you can’t escape it. (All from Tennessee on down would not call Kentucky “South,” but since the rest of the country calls us hillbillies, too bad).

I would like to get some races under my belt before it’s time to BUMP ‘n Grind at Oak Mountain, but you can’t stress out about things outside your control. So until then, I’m combining two parts emergen-C, 8 parts fruits n veggies and way too much time on the internet looking at shiny things that could make my trail time better, faster, smoother, or maybe just shinier.

Oh, and do me a favor, if you plan on getting married and inviting me to yer nuptials, don’t get married until the off season.

I got the scrod

March 7th, 2012

Man, what a day. The events of Friday afternoon put the dual piston brakes on the first incarnation of plans for the weekend. The plan was Snake Creek Gap Round 3, leaving Friday at 3 in the pm, arrive early, relax, get up Sat and go dominate. Since 100% percent of wives polled were 110% against us leaving, (something about tornados), the plan changed to leaving at 2am on Sat and suffer like the pigs we are. Somehow, someway, a plan like this makes sense to only people who fish and race bikes.

A belt of Whiskey and a melatonin had me drifting happily off to sleep at 930 Friday which didn’t make the 2am alarm too bad. Bill and Nate and I rendezvoused in Lexington at 3, pilled into Nate’s car and rolled. I drifted in and out of sleep the first hour or so, but finally gave into coffee’s bitter-sweet aroma at 430. Breakfast pickings at 530am are slim, so a quality (I base that on the fact that the bathroom was clean) clown-based fast food establishment was our race fuel, which was like burning e85 in a funny car.

After 2 rounds, I was in 3rd place, knowing I was only one Thomas Turner showing up from being relegated to 4th (he did, I was). Since the storms hit Dalton, I thought the course would be a bit slow and I didn’t think I could shave more than 10 minutes off my time to take the 3rd spot from Craig Evans. It turns out I was right and wrong.

Even if the promoter is a (deleted nasty things) that doesn’t realize you can’t post two different payout schedules in two different places, everyone else involved at this race are top notch, great volunteers and racers. Zack, Chip and Brandon all had our backs and had us set up with rides to the start to avoid having to take the bus and start amongst the slower traffic. We were one of the first to arrive in the Dry Creek parking lot (though nothing in the area was remotely dry, but plenty of creek) and get going. I started about 1 minute behind my spandex laden preverbal carrot, Craig, who I managed to catch on the climb just after the incredibly swollen creek crossing about 1 mile in (which effectively made my feet numb the rest of the day). We battled a bit on the way up and I felt like I could pull away, but since I had already bridged and was now virtually 1 minute ahead of him, I didn’t feel like I needed to push it too hard too early, so just rode behind and let him take the lead into the singletrack.

I don’t know how he runs or swims, but my guess Craig is a top ranked X-terra pro cuz the boy can ride a bike. Road-going tri-geeks are notoriously sketchy on the bike, but this dirt-going incarnation of a triathlete is anything but. While I would never wish to place behind a tri-guy, it’s easier to accept when you know he is a legit rider (not just the best at exercising).

The rest of the race in a nutshell; I felt good and dropped Craig, he caught back on later, I planned on dropping him in the last 8 miles but crashed instead.

It was good I saved energy early. By the time I crashed, I was exhausted (I sense a correlation here). Not much sleep for two days took its toll and I just didn’t have enough to push myself at the end. At least my slow limp through the rest of the course was limited to the last couple miles. I was happy to have only given up 1:30 to Craig on the day, but was still 4 minutes off from claiming 3rd. If I could have maintained my initial pace, I think I would have knocked Craig off, but never-the-less, I didn’t have it in me that day.

Somewhat assuaging the feeling of loosing 3rd was “At least I am still going to be in the money.” So, note to promoters, if your race is advertised in multiple sites, especially if it has been paying one way for 8 years, you give folks a pretty noticeable “heads up” and make sure all sites have the same info. Thanks.

From a fitness level though, I can’t complain. At 38 years old I beat my previous best time in 7 years (equaling 18 or so attempts) on that course by almost 7 minutes (lucky 7). With some great sponsors on board; Progold bike lube, Stan’s NOTUBES, Shimano, Giant Bikes and most importantly, the good folks at Clarksville Schwinn and some promising early results, this could be a stellar year. I’ve always been a late bloomer.

Guess who just found out higher entry fees now = less payout

Hmm, guess who didn't get paid?

Good thing I was wearing a helmet. Recovery beer is dangerous

Safety first! No helmet, no beer

Look at my palm. Look at it!

Look at my palm already, look at it!

Urban Short Tracking

January 30th, 2012

More fun than urban farming, urban short track racing is the new hotness. And who would know better than Clarksville Schwinn Backwoods Racing, taking the top spots in the mens cat 1/2 and cat 3 races at the LaGrange Urban Short Track Series (LUSTS).

A great way to get some quality training in on a nasty winter day, LUSTS has been fun, (especially since I have 2 wins in two starts). Nick put his head down and pushed hard to take second from Ray Smith (Bobs Redmill) and Andrew Beckman rolled it in for 4th.

The new guy, Joe Driver, just getting himself dirty for the first time this year, has locked up the Cat 3 series with 5 wins. With a hot new Scalpel 29er and his eyes on the DINO series, it looks like Joe has the fever.

Thanks to Jon at Goose Creek Cycles for putting on this series, and all the fine merchants in downtown LaGrange for sponsoring.

Bittersweet beat of 3

January 10th, 2012

First weekend in January. It’s the time of year we load up the wagons and head down to suffer in the mountains of North Georgia. The Snake Creek Gap TT series has become a yearly tradition to break up the monotony of winter, get pounded by the Pinhoti trail, eat meat (checking off cows, bison and a small game hen this round) and drink a few Sweetwaters.

As a quick side-note, NWGA SORBA has some awesome volunteers. I mean these folks raise this race to a level other race promoters and clubs could only dream about. Peach cobbler cooked in cast iron pots over open fire, trucks drivin you and your bikes to the start line 30 minutes away, these people rock.

Generally being cold and/or wet with fitness teetering between “grandma on life support” and “newborn on a ventilator,” January is typically the slowest race. This year’s was anything but. Conditions at start were great with temps in the 50’s rising to low 60’s and the trail was tacky in some places, tiny bit slick in others, loamy to completely dry.

Fueled by the feast the night before at Ali Babba’s (haters, go eat your tacos) in Knoxville and strange food like substances resembling sausage, eggs, bagels and waffles from the hotel that morning, I was ready to ride. (btw, don’t mess with old folks at the free hotel breakfast. When each meal could be your last, it’s serious business.)

We got to the start early, giving us time to help unload some bikes, beat the line at the outhouse for that final fear-based evacuation and to roll over to be among the first to go off.

3, 2, 1 … I pushed it a bit to get the blood flowing on the rolling 1 mile dirt road, careful not to go too hard too early, crossing the thankfully low creek, and then into a comfortable rhythm on the long double-track climb. By the time the climb turns into tight single I had passed all those starting before me resulting in the next 20 or so miles of completely empty trail.

Awesome.

What I think of as the first section, (from the start to the gravel downhill), came in went in a flash. I figured it was cuz I was having fun and not suffering much, however, when I finally looked at my computer at the ½ way point, I realized I was about 7 minutes faster than any previous time. I refilled both my bottles, grabbed a couple gels and was off again.

I was having a blast. After swearing off hardtails more than a decade ago, I am lovin my 21 pound Giant XTC Composite 29er. I was able to make it fly up the climbs and was easy to flick around on the sketchy and rocky stuff. Any time I may have lost being a bit conservative on a downhill was more than made up for on, well, every other part of the course.

I only had two problems out there: I once again broke a Look pedal, and I totally misjudged my place on the course. On only the 4th or 5th ride on a “warranty” set, I’m done with those pieces of plastic trash Look calls mtb pedals – thanks to the best rep in the biz, some real pedals, Shimano XTR, are on their way. The other problem, well, I dunno, I kept thinking I had farther to go than I did. I could have looked down, but for fear that I would be disappointed at the time or distance left, I just didn’t want to look at my computer. Stupid? Probably. I can’t say I had much left in the tank by the finish, but enough to feel like I could have pushed harder and made up a couple more minutes. The end result was my first sub 3 hour time – 2:57:SOMETHING which was good enough for 3rd overall. I’ll just hope conditions and form continue to improve as the series rolls on.

Since the skies opened up that afternoon, Bill Crank and I skipped the usual Raccoon Mtn ride the next day instead stopping at Laurel Lake, KY for an easy 18 mile spin on a great stretch of the Sheltowee Trace trail system. All in all, a great weekend.

And finally …

Giving thanks to God for the ability, to Sarah for understanding my need for male bonding and masochism (I mean the racing you perv) and to Clarksville Schwinn, Giant Bikes, Shimano, and Progold, for a lean, clean, and mean race machine.

And thanks to my snazzy tightpants. The tightpants, after all, are the reason we ride.

Help the Aged

December 5th, 2011

On my ride yesterday I realized this will be my last year racing in the 30-39 age group. After resisting the temptation to just swerve right into oncoming traffic or the swiftly moving Ohio River, I decided I’m OK with it. After all, the old guys that smoke the young-uns are always the most impressive. Or pitifull. I’ll take either.

After an extended off season, its back to training. By last July, I was starting to feel like a 100 year old stuntman during a cold, wet winter. So after the Waverly race on Labor Day weekend, the trainin bible was put on the shelf a bit earlier than usual and just cracked back open 3 weeks ago.

It was a productive off season; Sarah and I found a house (seeing as though houses are everywhere, finding one isn’t much to brag about, one for us to buy), bought my first hard-tail in 8 years, a got new team, and finally got some winter riding shoes.

The house – it has a basement and will be a great hindrance to finances and ride time, but, it’s ours and I’m pretty pumped.

The bike – Giant XTC Composite 29er a.k.a. the 21 pound missile. I can’t get over how well this thing rides. It is still a hard-tail and doesn’t do much to soak up the no-see-um’s in the trail or mis-timed landings, but just for pointing and shooting up, or down, the trail, this bike is scary fast.

The team – Sean Steele (with that name, he should have been a wrestler) emails one day about merging Backwoods Racing, who’s primary sponsor is Clarksville Schwinn, with Rapid Transit, Clarksville’s road team. That was a no brainer: More team-mates, more sponsorship, more exposure. Slam dunk, thanks Sean.

The training – first 3 week cycle in the books. November, being a weather crapshoot in Louisville, well, the crap was hit. Actually, it wasn’t all bad, it was pretty decent. Even though it rained every weekend, I was still able to get some good rides in on at least one of those days. I have finally got back in the gym to try to get some of my broken and weak parts strong again (most notably, the shoulder). All in all I’m feeling pretty decent for this time of year; lots of power, no fitness, always hungry. Literally, not some figurative “hungry for the prize” or such platitude, hungry for tacos, burgers, pie, whatever, just feed me.

The lube – after using Dumond Tech for the last __??? years, I was a bit hesitant to make a switch, but lemme tell ya, ProGold is the stuff. From the cleaners (spray and towels) and degreasers to the lube itself, it works like a champ. Great stuff.

The racing – Despite our new two story potential fitness-wrecker, I have some high hopes for this year starting with the Snake Creek Gap TT series (which will test the limits of the Shimano MW81’s), a couple of Nationals in California in the spring and who knows what else, may make another run at some 100 milers. Got some other things milling around, just have to see how things work out. It’s all supposed to fun, so outside of the early season goals, I’m going to keep the schedule pretty loose.

There you have it. More updates to come as boredom and frustration warrant.

I hate the Tour of France

August 18th, 2011

The one they do on bicycles every year. The one the cycling world goes nuts for. Yeah, I hate it.

I watch it.

I read the recaps.

I leave my browser open for up to the minute updates at work.

Seems like odd behavior for someone who hates the Tour. So, what I really hate is what the Tour isn’t and what happens during it.

What it isn’t. The hype for most any event in life almost always eclipses the actual occurrence and makes you feel a bit let down. In hindsight you realize the event was indeed pretty cool, just not life altering, as promised. Such is the Tour. It never is as awesome as the lead-up to it. All the big show downs rarely happen, 1/2 the contenders crash out before even taking a swing. Then there’s the doping scandals that pop up like a zit before class picture day, no matter the outcome, they leave a mark that taints that years race to some degree. So you take all that, plus the 2 weeks of flat stages (yawn) multiplied by a couple awesome rides, narrow escapes and heroic attacks and wins and you get a Peter Jackson Film.

Yes, the Tour is like Lord of the Rings or Donkey Kong Does New York. All in all, pretty cool, but really, if we could edit it down a bit and just get to the action a bit faster. We don’t need the whole journey to know how they got there. Maybe instead of Peter Jackson, they could make the Tour a Michael Bay production; all stages are mountain stages except the downhill team time trials, and the gap jumps, rings of fire and tiger pits on the 1 flat stage. If these guys are gonna crash out, might as well make it awesome. “I crashed out of the tour because of wheel touching,” that sounds so weenie.

Now, what happens during it and why this post is relevant 3 weeks after the Tour has ended.

June. The race season is really getting going. March, April and May can be great, but spotty. May is generally more consistent weather, but you still may not have the new bike completely sorted, or that bug you caught by being under trained and over raced in April is finally out of the system to where you’re no longer clutching your chest and heaving like Redd Foxx half way up a climb. We then seamlessly roll into July and you’re flying, feeling great, nothing but races on the calendar for the next 8 weeks. It’s summer, life is grand.

Then it happens.

Every year going into July I feel like this year is going to be different, I feel too good right now … but it never is different. Somehow in those 3 weeks since the tour started, the sparkly, race fueled days of summer have given way to “seasons about over and I’m feeling beat.” Like watching those guys cover 3600 miles took it out of me. The stores are in on it too, they have gone from 4th of July picnic displays of great joy to back to school displays of pending doom. You can feel autumn looming and you know just behind it is the Beast that is Ohio Valley Winters.

So, thats why I really hate the Tour; it kills summer and I’m tired at the end of it. With this year’s heat wave, July was especially brutal and now I am lookin forward to forgetting about training for a while and riding because riding without agenda is fun. CX need not apply.

Second is the new first

July 17th, 2011

I got second, yet I still won. Nice work when you can get it.

The tight twisties at Capitol View made for some very, very hot and sweaty racing. By the end of lap 2, gloves and chamois had hit their saturation point. An ill-advised, yet delicious, late morning egg, ham n cheese bagel was making some tasty vurps. Mitchell drilling it up the hills. Put all these things together and you got 2 laps of racing, and 2 laps of doing just enough to maintain 2nd.

Yet somehow I still won.

It was the Bluegrass State games MTB race and they score Cat 1 (Mitchell) separate from Pro (me), so I took home more cash and a gold medal. I don’t do many smart things, so not only is second the new first, it’s also exceptional. Nap time.

East Fork you

July 14th, 2011

Holy geez East Fork Lake is rough. Looking at the numbers on my Garmin, it’s 500 feet less climbing than some other area XC courses and about right on as far as distance, so why do I always feel like a bag of crap thats been beaten with a broom stick at the end? Maybe it’s all the twisting, turning, deep wash-outs, long road sections, over-inflated tires and continuous crashing that make it so hard. Or a series of sections that look exactly the same and you keep thinking “I just rode this, I must somehow be stuck in a loop and will ride this until I die.” But despite myself and it’s difficulty, including “Groundhog Day” like effects, I was able to make it a win 3 years in a row at East Fork OMBC/KY Series combo.

While the field was not deep, the front line had more than enough talent, most notably Schworm, Andy Messer, Ben Ort (Ott?) and Brad Wilhelm (prolly misspelled that one too). The course was a bit different this year. At the end of the lap, instead of popping triumphantly out of the woods, they threw us down a stupid-tight switchback section where we come out un-triumphantly at the bottom of an unused road which we must, in full sun, climb back up to the start/finish. That added about 12-15 minutes to total race time, which translates to 30-40 minutes of “feels like” time. The trail was also different because it took a beating last winter/fall and was in horrible shape. Big holes replaced former small dips, roots and rocks were more exposed and it was just brutal on bike and body. At one part, while blasting up a fast straight, what used to be a small ditch turned out to be a 3 foot deep gulley with a tree/log/large round hunk of wood at the bottom. Not wanting to go face first into the other side, I pulled up the front and had to let the rear end of the bike take the blow. As a result my rear wheel had more hops than the Easter Bunny and more movement side to side than a free safety on a long snap count (does that work? Sure. Now laugh). I was glad my frame didn’t seem to mind my lack of finesse. The next mile or so I rode gingerly, waiting to hear that “pffffffffffff, thump thump thump” that generally follows such hits.

The race quickly became a showdown between Messer and me (Messer and me sounds like a touching novel). I would start to pull away, and bam, on the ground. 4 crashes in the first 2 laps. The last one had me scared, I wrapped my chain around my crankarm and it took an extra 30 or more seconds over a normal remount and go to figure out “why isn’t my bike going forward?” I look down, asses the problem, curse, unwind it, curse, get it back on the ring, and get going again while throwing in a couple more curses for good measure. Andy was outta sight by this point. Two options; settle in and ride comfortably for second like a quitter or bury myself and still maybe get second, but knowing I tried. Option B. I was able to catch Andy by the end of the lap, amazingly, stay upright all of lap 3 and take the W. Leg cramping satisfaction.

Not so satisfying was the post race lake dip that felt, looked and smelled like wading into a gigantic urine sample. When I got home, I scrubbed my open wounds like there was no tomorrow and waited to see if my leg would fall off.

So this week is a week off and after my pummeling Sunday, I need some time to let things scab over, allow the swelling to come down, fix the bike and generally not worry about heart rates or chamois cream. So far, so good.

Founders and Flounders

July 8th, 2011

Is it fair to promote yourself then downplay that promotion as some sort of humility? Like this, “I’m Gary Fisher. I’ve been called the founding father of mountain biking. I don’t know about that … ” Hasn’t he spent the last 30 years arguing with Charles Kelly over what constitutes “first” and however you define it, he was it?

Anyway from the first days of MTB to this past week. Demon 1 not shaken (my flounder), but that’s OK. Losing a local series sucks, but winning an AMBC XC makes it feel much better. So like the package of little chocolate donuts that was until very recently sitting on my desk, demon 2 has been bested.

Last Sunday, July 3rd. North Vernon D.IN.O. A.M.B.C. (acronym-tastic!) The morning started out warm and sticky, much like my armpits. But unlike my armpits, once the moisture burned off, a slight breeze kicked in and made for a pretty decent day. I don’t think the second two things are possible in pits.

AMBC weekend in North Vernon hosts 2 XC events; STXC on Saturday and the regular XC on Sunday. I opted to skip the short track this year, no payout and a lot of energy burn-off made it an easy decision. I also opted to skip traditional pre-race food and go with pot-roast, baked potatoes and apple pie; I was powered by all-American goodness. Thanks Mom.

The Pro field was decent sized, with only a couple names missing off the start list from years before (EP, Jorts). The start is about 50 yards of grass followed by a hard right into fast, flowing single track. Passing isn’t easy for the first couple miles here so I wanted the first spot in the woods and got a good run at it, only being challenged by Matt B who thankfully eased off to give me the holeshot. By the end of the first lap It was a Brown County repeat; Myself, Brad Nelson and Mitchell K. I was feeling OK, until I realized I had Sarah in the wrong spot for feeds. She wasn’t far away, so I began to loudly groan “SAH-RAHHHHHH!!!! SAHHHH-RAHHHHHHHH!!!!” I think Mitchell thought I was having some sort of episode. She was stationed with Jennifer Schworm and Leigh-Anna Barbieri, so I hoped between the three of them they would figure out what happened and reposition. While it wasn’t as hot as years past, 1 bottle for 25 miles wasn’t going to work.

Brad passed me early on in lap 2 while Mitchell sat on. I started to block the pass then figured to let him come by and see what he’s got. If he’s got the goods, why should I hold him back? As we came through the feed zone ending lap 2, I was relieved to see Sarah got the message of my pitiful cries and was standing there with a bottle ready to go.

Refueled and ready.

We maintained our positions until about 1/3 of the way into lap 3 when I got tired of sitting on. Patience is not one of my best virtues. I knew I could outpace Brad in terms of flat-out power, and after taking about .0005 seconds to weigh the feasibility and wisdom of this idea, I went full on through a long open, but kinda rough, section. The Anthem and Lefty kept the wheels stuck to the ground and put all my power into forward progress (man that bike rules). It worked out and the gap stuck. I rode hard and tried to keep the risks low that lap and put 1 minute on the 2 of them. Seeing some success with that plan, I kept it going and was able to expand that lead a hair on lap 4 and roll in for the win.

All in all a great day of racing, especially not feeling like I had very good form coming into it. A busy couple months ahead with East Fork, 3 more D.IN.O.’s, Fontana S.E.R.C. and maybe topping it all off at the Shenanhoah 100. After a good training week this week, prayin I can keep improving and I can hit my peak as the season does and close out 2011 on a high note.

Randumb

June 29th, 2011

First, an major announcement. I personally have put an end to all the rain; I planted some crops. Staying true to my roots via my mother’s agricultural up-bringing, I too, am growing food. I am just one chicken and a beard short of being like every other 30 something urban farmer. If I start talking about sustainability, kill me.

So, anyway, the fact that my 5 tomato plants (aforementioned “crops”) would benefit from periodic rains ensures we will not see another drop until after labor day. I should have done this in May.

So to the more bikey things. Tonight, the short track finals. This weekend, North Vernon DINO. Two demons to exorcise in one week.

The short track demon. This was the first year I competed for the overall series, and I felt like crap in all but the first race. Life off the bike has sapped all my energy and left me feeling drained. It just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me to win this series. However, tonight being double points, it could come down to a tickle fight to determine the overall winner.

The North Vernon demon. I love this course but have had a hard time winning, heck, sometimes even finishing, it. Various bouts of crap luck have hit here, but this year, it’s gonna be different because, well, I will it to be.

Things like life, weather, and gas prices, this has been a very underwhelming race season so far. Combining the fact that I feel like a 90 year old ex stunt man who missed his meds the hour before a storm (cranky and achy. that sounds like a country band), bailing on this season to heal and rest doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Speaking of turning 90, I’m also continuing to age. The annual reminder you’ve gone another year without accomplishing much of anything looms very, very near.

bday

The thing is, generally speaking, if you aren’t racing on the weekend, you have to do chores. And it doesn’t seem as though I am ever a safe enough distance from myself not to inflict some sort of injury, regardless of what I am doing. Since I already have the shoes, tightpants and a bike, I guess I’ll race.